My body is not yet ready for tonight.
When your entire Facebook wall is composed of “Truth is,” I have every right to start judging you.
- too many people: uhh sorry i can't text you back but i can update social media from my phone
The only pants a girl will ever need are yoga pants.
Girls like them.
Guys like them.
Everybody wins man.
- my parents: you're so beautiful and perfect you can get anyone you want
- everyone else: quick someone call animal control there's a gorilla on the loose
- Parents: get off the computer
- Me: excuse me, I'm a professional blogger have more respect